Always a Story

Originally, I thought this post would start out like this:

"This blog is going to get terribly boring for awhile, since my adventure has quieted down until my internship starts in a month."

Instead, it's going to start like this:

I checked into the same motel tonight that I've stayed in the last two nights. The first night I arrived a little late and was creeped out. Last night was fine. Tonight I got in early so that I could avoid the creepy feeling again. Didn't work as well as I'd thought.

I checked in, like normal, and there was a man checking in after me. No big deal. I got up to my room and eat my pizza very happily. Then the room phone starts ringing. I almost don't answer it because it doesn't seem like they can have anything to say to me. And it worries me that it's another room calling my room because they saw me walk in alone and want to see if that's true. Anyway, I answer and it's one of the girls that was working reception and then she says she'll call me back in a second. Okay...

The phone rings again and I answer it and it's the other girl that was working reception and she says "That guy that came in after you started asking questions about you and now he's standing by your car waiting for you to come out so he can ask you to dinner. So just stay inside your room because he is really creepy and he's kind of creeping everybody out and we might have him removed from the property."

I tell her thanks, and I kind of think she's letting me know because she's younger, too, and just wants me to know there's a weird man outside because it would weird her out if she was me, too. I was just about to leave to walk down the street to get a candy bar before she called, so at least it was timely. Whenever I walk into my room at a motel, I deadbolt the door and do the extra latch thing, and if it's relevant, close the curtains so no one will be able to see in and see that I'm alone. So at least I had that going for me.

A little bit later they call me again to tell me he's still not gone and to stay put. Then they call again to say that they've locked him out of his room to get him to leave but it didn't work and he parked his car next to mine to wait for me to come out. The woman that had called first tells me "Just stay in you room. You're so small he'd probably just snatch you. We're probably going to call the cops because he's just being really weird."

Finally, I get another call from the guy that had been working at the desk telling me the man is finally off the property. He offered to switch my room, but I decided to stay put because I felt that if the man was waiting by my car it was because he didn't know which room I was in, but if I left the room it might give him a chance to see me. And if he's a dedicated creeper he might be somewhere around still.

Whew! So that's the story I got today.

Meanwhile.

I've been looking for apartments. It's stressing me out because I'm overthinking it, I think. (Ha) I'm looking more seriously into sublets now, just something to get me housed for now. I saw an apartment today, and it had a lot of pros, but the biggest con was that it was a dirty basement with no windows. Not tiny windows, but actually no windows. They also want proof of income for three times the rent, which I don't have. And which I find odd, because she asked me if I was a student right away and I don't believe any student would be making that much money either. I also think three times the rent is a silly requirement when the rent is $700. I can survive on much less than $1400 a month after rent. Anyway!

The apartment search is exhausting because there is so much pressure to find a place quickly right now and there's so much that I can't control about it. Like who returns my emails and my phone calls! I'll figure it out. But it's a time when I'm prone to panicking. And whining. Which I'm trying to limit here.

But right now I'm pretty terrified. I don't know why. But it has nothing to do with the creepy man. It has a lot to do with figuring out where my life is going next. I know I have this internship, and it will take up a lot of my time soon, but it really doesn't offer much in the way of direction for life after the internship. I don't like uncertainty. I know I want to do this internship, I want the experience, but part of me is arguing against it even right now because it seems too impractical. Too unstable. That puts me on edge. A lot. I like stability and security and right now I just don't have it. I have to find an apartment. I have to find a job that will work with my zoo schedule. And then I have to find a way to make it through that kind of work week for 3 months. It makes me panicky and makes my stomach flip to think about it.

So there's that. Though I'm going to admit that the above paragraph does not even come close to adequately describing my feelings.  That's the very calmed down version. Just so you know. I'm reigning it in.

Deep breaths! I need a kitchen to stress bake in.