This Isn't Original

Well, I wrote about how my interview went somewhere else, not realizing that I hadn't updated here very excitedly the moment I got off the phone.

I should hear about whether or not I get the internship on Tuesday. I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

But my hopes are up. Like, way up.

I know my interview went better than my last phone interview for an internship (the otter internship I interviewed for in April or so, you probably didn't hear about it). I think part of that has to do with the fact that it was a man and not a group of three women, because women make me a little nervous, as do groups. He also asked different questions, that seemed more zoo-related and less general-job related. I know I answered a few of his questions exactly right.

"What's the best part about being a zoo keeper?"
"Developing a relationship with an animal, learning it's quirks and what it likes. Developing communication even though you can't communicate. That's awesome."

"What's the worst part about being a zoo keeper?"
"Well, there's the nasty, sweaty, dirty long days which can kind of suck. But really, it's the rough moments. You develop a relationship with an animal but there can come a moment where you've done everything you can do and there's nothing else you can do and the animal has to be euthanized. That's awful."

"You hit it on the head. That is absolutely the worst part about the job. And developing a relationship with an animal is great, but you can't have one without the other."

That's the answer. And I know it. Because even without that relationship, I've seen the keepers I interned next to go through it. And even without a relationship, it's a life. And it hurts to see medicine fail. It really does.

He asked me how I felt about animals in captivity. (Answer: thousands of mixed feelings.) He asked me how I felt about PETA (They make me cringe because radicals give people actually working for animal welfare a bad name). He asked me what my favorite animal was, and why (Snow leopards, for a lot of reasons). He asked why I want to work with big cats (Because they are amazing and there is something about them when you look into their eyes). Why I want to move to New Orleans (It's a beautiful city, with a fascinating history and a fascinating literary history [I'm sure he didn't know what to think about that part of my answer]). What I thought were the most important qualities in a zoo keeper. #1: Dedication. And I know that was a correct answer (Along with patience).

So I really hope I get it. For a lot of reasons. For a thousand reasons. I want more experience so I can be closer to getting a job. I want to move to New Orleans. I want to be in a zoo every day. I want to be doing something rewarding. I want to be within 2 feet of a tiger. And an elephant. I do.

Meanwhile, I'm apartment shopping. I'm planning my travels. Maybe planning a trip home. Need to read a book or three. Figuring out how and what to cook on a campfire. A little bit about how to build a campfire and what the rules are.

I have wanted for so long to be able to embrace the moment and accept things happening as they happen. I'm not all the way there yet, probably won't ever be, but I feel so much better about everything right now. My future is the most unsure it's ever been and I'm still so content. I'm happy. It's a great feeling. Not in a jubilant, jumping up and down kind of way, but in a quiet, serene, peaceful way. It's a nice happy. I like it.

I'm also excited to get cragislist furniture that I can sand down and repaint and go all DIY on.

Unrelated, I made bananas muffins today. I like how quickly I can whip something up in the kitchen, even when it's not my kitchen. But it makes me want my own kitchen so I can go crazy. And I'll make friends with new neighbors with cupcakes. I have a strategy all ready to go.