Mississippi!

I'm working on my plan for the next part of my road trip and I am so, so excited because this part of the trip--which was completely unplanned until a few days ago--has so many really cool features.

I'm going to Mobile, AL from where I am now, then to Biloxi, MS, but mostly because these places are on the way to where I really want to go. After that, I'll be heading up to Jackson, MS (there's a zoo there) and then I'll be taking the Natchez Trace Parkway up to Tupelo, MS. It's an 8,000 year old path and commercial vehicles aren't allowed to drive on it. It's part of the national park system, so I'm pretty sure it will be awesome. (nps.gov/natr in case you're interested) There's a swamp on the way and I'm totally going to stop and walk through it.

Then, from Tupelo I will go to Oxford, MS. Where William Faulkner lived the last 30 years of his life!!!! Beyond excited! It's also where Ole Miss is, and their center for the study of southern culture, which I might check out since even though I'm not sure I'll ever do it, I'd like to find out more about their Master's program in Southern Studies. There's also a supposedly awesome independent bookstore that focuses on Southern writers. I. AM. SO. EXCITED.

From Oxford--if I can pull myself away--I will go to Memphis, TN to eat my weight in barbecue. THEN! (this just keeps being amazing!) I will followed the Mississippi River back down to New Orleans. I thought I was going to have to use my map and do this the old school way but it turns out that there is actually a guide that directs you along the roads to take you down the Mississippi. Mississippi River Experience! On my way down, I'll stop in Vicksburg, Natchez, and Baton Rouge, and probably Vacherie to go to Oak Alley Plantation since that place is so freaking picture perfect.

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait.

I got an email about an internship at the Audubon Zoo, the curator telling me when he would be free to talk on the phone. I responded with when would work for me, asking him to tell me what would work best for him. No response for two days! SIR! EMAIL ME BACK! I've been checking my email compulsively. I want this internship so bad! It's with tigers, lions, and elephants! What a really cool experience! And in New Orleans. And it's August-November, so I would be done before Christmas and could come home. If I don't get it, though, I still think I'm going to try to move to New Orleans and start volunteering at the zoo since I need experience and that will at least be a start.

I keep thinking about the AZA conference in September and haven't made a decision about whether or not I'm going to go. I really want to and I think the networking potential would just be enormous, but it's expensive and in Atlanta which could be expensive to get to. I don't know.

Anyway! I'm excited. So very excited right now.

EDIT:
I hit post and then went to check my email and I got a response! Interview tomorrow at 4! Hooray!

Projects

I am in Lakeland, FL, which is about 45 minutes outside of Tampa. I'm going to be here for a little while, figuring out my next step. Which of course I've already started doing.

The next cities I'm looking at for residency are Biloxi, MS, New Orleans, LA and Memphis, TN. I think my next driving stint will be along the Gulf and then up the Mississippi. I think. It's a sketchy plan so far, but I've started looking at jobs in New Orleans and Memphis and will probably send out resumes to a couple in each and then hope to arrange a phone interview or two before I make up my mind. But I'd like to be living somewhere by July (not the first, just the month in general) so I've got to get moving on it.

Meanwhile, I've been reading. What a surprise! Have you ever started a book and made the decision to read it twice before you've even gotten very far? I started The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin a day or so ago and it's perfect for me to read right now. She sets goals up for herself each month, in different categories, to try to improve her quality of life by doing things that make her happier. But not just in the moment happy, quality of life happy. I'm reading through it pretty quick right now, because it's good and an easy read, but I know I want to read through it again to really see what she's doing and what's going on.

She's also a writer. Which I suppose should seem obvious since she wrote a book, but there is a difference in being a career writer and writing in a book or two in addition to your real job. I like reading about her choice to leave her law career to really become a writer.

I've said I want to write. And I do. But I don't know how. Poetry is hard to get published since so few people read it, and poetry contests almost all have entry fees.

I wouldn't know how to approach a book. I want to. But I don't know how. What on earth would I write about? What would the story look like? I have the desire to write but nothing to say.

I'm looking into creative writing workshops, even though I don't know where I would go with that either.

Good writers seem to have so much wisdom. I want that. I want to think I have enough of that to write something important. People write about what they know, but what do I know? So very little.

I think I'm going to start practicing. Just to get my voice back and going and hopefully that will take me somewhere.

The ATL

I left Knoxville late this morning and made the drive to Atlanta.

I think I like Atlanta more than Knoxville. First impression is better anyway. I got a little used to Knoxville by the time I left it, since I get oriented in new places pretty quickly, and getting that sense of where things are makes me feel settled a little, but I don't know. I like Knoxville, but I don't know if it's the place for me. When I went to New Orleans last year it took me 2 hours into the first day to fall in love with it and from there my love for the city just grew. That's what I want it to be like when I pick a place to live now. The cost of living in New Orleans is pretty high, but I think I'm going to look again and look for some jobs and see if I have any luck.

If I haven't figured out what to do or where to go by the end of my time in Tampa, I think I'm going to do a drive through the Deep South to get a look at some places there. And I'm going to look on my way down through Georgia because on the way through near the coast I liked it an awful lot. We'll see. I'm back to square one, I think.

I've been thinking, again, some more, like always. And I have myself more confused than ever before. I know what I would really like to do, but I don't know if I would really like to live on those wages, living month to month and not having room in my budget to make me feel safe and comfortable. I did that in college for 3 years and it's stressful and unpleasant. I think a job I really loved would make it worth it, but I don't know if a mediocre job would. If I'm working two jobs to make ends meet, I want one of those jobs to be the thing I really really want to do. Not cleaning kennels at a vet clinic. If I'm running my savings out, I want it to be for a really awesome internship. If I went to the Himalayas to save snow leopards all I'd want is shelter and food, I wouldn't care about anything else because I'd be doing the coolest thing in the world. But if I'm miserable at my job, I at least want to be able to go to the bookstore once a week without thinking about how it's going to mess up my finances for a whole month.

So I don't know where to go, what to do, what to settle on. I hate the idea of just barely coming out on top every month and I hate the idea of giving up the idea of what I want to do just to make a little more money. I don't know where the compromise is.

That's what I have to figure out. On top of the whole where-in-the-world-do-I-want-to-live thing.

So there's all of that. Tomorrow I think I might go to the aquarium. They have a whale shark!