Panicky

I've got that deep down panic rising up again.

There's another intern at the zoo in my section who is applying for paying zoo jobs right now. She has more experience than me and is having a hard time finding a job.

She has more experience than me and is having a hard time finding a job.


I feel like that's important to repeat because of what it means for me.

I'll keep hoping for a job, a paying job, in my field. But my ability to do unpaid internships will run out pretty fast. Probably as soon as my student loans are due. And my car insurance needs renewed. And when my rent has to be paid. The perfect storm that will be December 1, 2011. What a great birthday present.

It's a couple months away, but it's really not that far off. It's going to go by really fast.

I have no idea what I'm doing to do in November when I have to figure out my next step.

It makes me sort of sick to think about, actually.