I got my bed today! I rented a U-Haul van--not a truck because it rains all the time and unpredictably--and my roommate helped me move the bed. I felt like a goon because I forgot to bring the money to pay the woman for the mattress so I left my roommate there and luckily there was a bank two blocks away and the woman was really nice. With a really awesome dog. I love her dog. And her cute little house in the Garden District!
Whew. The mattress move went pretty quick and easy. I cut myself on a boxspring staple and then got a bloody partial handprint on the mattress before I noticed.
I was going to take a picture of my new, great, terrific bed all made up and I started to put my sheets on and they don't fit. Oy. I thought they would because I bought these sheets sophomore year and I'm pretty sure that was a queen size bed, but this mattress might me thicker? I don't know. But I cannot get the sheet to stretch to the fourth corner. Now I have to decide what look I want for my bedding. It's going to be a whole big thing.
When every seasons starts, every year, I declare "Spring is my favorite season!" followed in three months by "Summer is my favorite season!" all year long, forever and ever. I think it's good that I don't actually have a favorite season but instead of saying "I don't have a favorite" and sincerely declare them each my favorite until the next one comes along.
Right now the reason summer is my favorite, though, is because of the summer foods. Summer really does get the best foods--except for pumpkin in the fall--and I try to eat as much of them as possible because they're just not as good any other time of the year. I love peaches and fresh corn the most, I think. I had three peaches one the edge so I cut them up and put them in the fridge for the right moment. Which was after dragging the mattress through the house into my room by myself. And I had probably about two peaches worth of peach covered in heavy cream. Delicious. I love peaches and I love cream and I love that together they make a delightful food.
I'm pretty happy right now.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Lists
One of my friends posted a list on Facebook titled "100 Things in 1000 Days" and it's a long-term list of goals you want to complete. The ten categories are Health, Travel, Monetary, Education, Entertainment, Literature, Friendship, Family, Environment/Giving and Growing Up. Ten things in each category, with a little less than three years to check everything off the list. I think it's a really neat idea. A collection of things you want to do, with a reasonable timeline and tailored to you. I'm working on my list right now. I wish I would've learned about this two months ago, though, because then Travel would've been an easy category to move through. Instead I'm focusing on this city and the region, and since it is a long-term list, visiting some people I don't see that often.
One of the things on my list--under Education since I didn't know where else to put it--was to enter writing contests. I already had one to enter through Good Housekeeping and then just this morning I found another to enter through Real Simple. Good Housekeeping wants fiction about an aspect of being a woman today. Real Simple wants a story about when you realized what love means. I think the Real Simple topic is easier and I had a moment pop into my head almost immediately. No spoilers, though, because when I'm done I'll send it to everyone to read.
In 2 hours I'm going to go look at a mattress!! If it has no bugs, blood, or urine stains it will be mine! Hopefully tomorrow! I have to rent a truck and I didn't want to rent it before I saw the mattress it case it ends up being a dud. And then after that! I'm going to go apply for a job! Yay job! I can't wait for one. I love working. It makes me feel useful and worthwhile and tired. Being tired at the end of the day because of a good day of work is great. You sleep so well!
The storm is right overhead right now so you can hear the thunder as soon as you see the flash. It's a little gloomy, but I do love a good storm. According to locals this weather is unusual so it might clear up any day. Or last until winter. We'll see.
One of the things on my list--under Education since I didn't know where else to put it--was to enter writing contests. I already had one to enter through Good Housekeeping and then just this morning I found another to enter through Real Simple. Good Housekeeping wants fiction about an aspect of being a woman today. Real Simple wants a story about when you realized what love means. I think the Real Simple topic is easier and I had a moment pop into my head almost immediately. No spoilers, though, because when I'm done I'll send it to everyone to read.
In 2 hours I'm going to go look at a mattress!! If it has no bugs, blood, or urine stains it will be mine! Hopefully tomorrow! I have to rent a truck and I didn't want to rent it before I saw the mattress it case it ends up being a dud. And then after that! I'm going to go apply for a job! Yay job! I can't wait for one. I love working. It makes me feel useful and worthwhile and tired. Being tired at the end of the day because of a good day of work is great. You sleep so well!
The storm is right overhead right now so you can hear the thunder as soon as you see the flash. It's a little gloomy, but I do love a good storm. According to locals this weather is unusual so it might clear up any day. Or last until winter. We'll see.
Little Things
Some of the greatest joys are the small ones. Like a coke fresh out of the freezer after 2 hours of assembling cheap furniture.
I got a writing desk and a small chair so that I would have a place to sit when I typed up posts or wanted to write something or just sit if I wanted to. It isn't great, but it'll work. It does work. I'm sitting at it right now! I might be unfairly judging the chair's comfort level since I didn't sit in it until after hunching over the desk assmbly for quite awhile. My air mattress also deflated through the night so my back had a bad start anyway.
Mattresses! I found one on craigslist for $250 and I'm going to go look at it tomorrow. If that goes well, then I'll rent a truck--hopefully--and go pick it up. I really want a bed. Did you know that?
Such slow times! I'm going to go apply for a job tomorrow at an emergency vet clinic. The hours are nights and weekends so it should work with my internship. The ad said to call for an interview between 6pm and 8pm and I rushed home from Wal-Mart to do it and I made the call and they said "Oh, now we're having people fill out applications instead so you can come pick one up after 6pm. We're on the Westbank." Right near Wal-Mart. Now this isn't far or anything, but there's a $1 toll to cross the bridge so I'd like to not do it multiple times a day. The toll is only crossing the bridge into Orleans parish (where I am) and not going into Jefferson parish, so the first time I went I didn't know about the toll coming back and panicked a little bit and ended paying most of the toll in pennies because it's all I had.
Since it's been slow, I'll share a story from today I don't know that I would otherwise.
On the way back from Wal-Mart I had the radio on and "Boys of Summer" came on and I love that song. I love The Eagles and Don Henley and The Eagles almost always remind me of my mom. She's where I learned the music from and we both really liked them. The song was over and she was on my mind and the next song to come on was "I Hope You Dance" by Leanne Womack. You might not remember--or you might not know--but this was one of the songs played at my mom's funeral. It was picked out by my friend Terra, meant to be a message from my mom to me. I don't hear it that often and when it came on the radio today it seemed to come at a strange moment. It came after a song that already had me thinking about my mom, my mind was already there, and the song is something I need to hear every once in awhile. When it comes at moments like that one today it really does seem like a message.
I'm going to transcribe you some of the lyrics.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
Like I said in the "Quotable" post, sometimes it's nice to just see something that seems to tell you what you're doing is right and worth it, especially when things seem questionable. This was one of those moments. Except this felt like it was coming from my mom. I guess people might think it's silly, taking signs like that. But I can't help it. And I don't want to. It makes me feel close to her. Having a message from her, saying she's watching me and is proud of me and what I'm doing makes me feel good. Reminding me to keep going because it's right. Having that message from the person I love the most. It feels good.
This leads me to something I was thinking the other day. I've had a lot of people tell me I write well and that I should write, that I should write a memoir. I love that feedback, so thank you to everyone who has complimented me in that way! But I was thinking, about how a memoir would have to include my life. This road trip and settling in New Orleans has been exciting, but it's not my life, it's not a memoir. It's six weeks. almost eight, I guess. It's a chapter, but it's not my life. A memoir would have to include so much. So much more.
And that's the thing about a memoir. You can write it anyway you want to. But I would want to write it with complete honesty. Otherwise it's useless. And honestly, I don't know what that honesty would do to some people.
There is a lot that a lot of people don't know. They don't ask, it doesn't come up in conversation, I don't have a reason to tell anyone. Not because they're secrets, not because I'm ashamed, but because people don't know how to react. And because, I don't know if I'm unique in this, there are some things I like to keep to myself because the fewer people who know the more mine those moments and those stories are.
And there is another list of the things people don't know that I know. Which, I have to say, insults me. I know you aren't supposed to harbor hard feelings towards people, but sometimes they're hard to let go of. Things people thought they were hiding from me, because I couldn't know, shouldn't know, whatever misguided reason. But I knew a lot. I know a lot. I know what I grew up in and around. Knew then, know now.
Right now I want to relate a story. But I don't know how it would be handled. And that's what I mean. If I wrote a memoir it would be full of stories that people might not handle well, might not like hearing and might not like me telling them the way I feel like telling them. I wouldn't be telling any stories in order to upset anyone. Memoirs aren't meant for your family, I suppose.
So if I write one, ya'll can't read it, okay?
Anyway, maybe a more personal hard-to-handle story will come later.
But the rest of the song from my mom story goes like this:
I sang it at the top of my lungs and started to tear up driving down the freeway.
Then I got to the toll booth and gave the woman a dollar bill.
Because now I'm prepared for it.
(It's funny that I called it a "freeway." That's what we call them at home, because we don't have tolls! Here it's just a highway.)
Monday, July 25, 2011
When It Rains...
Today I changed out of my pajamas for the first time in 48 hours. To take a shower and change back into pajamas. I put real clothes on briefly to drive to Wal-Mart with my roommate to rent Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. It's been a lazy day to say the least.
I started reading The Hunger Games last night and stayed up a little bit too late. Woke up this morning--I use "morning" with a lot of creative license--made some food and then continued reading until about 8pm. That was my day. I hardly moved. But I did read a whole book!
I want to finish reading the Harry Potter books again but now I'm inconveniently far from the Barnes & Noble and the local bookstores are sure to notice me hanging around all day, ruining the binding on a popular book and not buying anything. When I get my first piece of mail, though, I can get a library card! Feel free to send me a postcard (or a care package) so I can get to that right away.
Tomorrow I'm going to go look at mattresses at the place my roommate got hers and see if they have anything else decent on sale. Then I might go to Wal-Mart to look at desks/tables and then! Go see the last Harry Potter movie with my roommate. It's nice that we get along okay. I also really like her pets. Her cats will come cuddle with me and her dog will, too. He's supposed to ask permission before coming onto my bed, and he tried that out at first, but I usually wasn't paying attention enough to shoo him away or invite him up so eventually he took control of the situation and jumped up. Today I could see in his eyes that he really wanted up--my bed is the air mattress, by the way, in case you were confused--but I had to many papers and notebooks strewn about and he didn't know what to do. As soon as I cleared a big enough spot on the edge he hopped right up and curled up and went to sleep. He's sweet. Very ugly. But sweet.
It rained again today! My ceiling started looking worse than ever. It was raining in a whole corner of my room, almost. If I walked through the doorway to the kitchen I would get wet, every time. And my car is parked on the sidewalk again. Lovely place.
I found a great deal of yarn that I very much want because I have at least 4 things on my list of things I want to make. I'll keep filling up my shopping cart and looking at it longingly until I talk myself out of it. Or find some miraculous way to justify it.
I can't believe it's already almost August. This summer is going by so fast.
It still surprises me and sort of saddens me when I realize I won't be going back to school in the fall. Without school life seems much less structured. School gives you a schedule and a routine. And it's been the same routine for so long that it's weird to be out of it. I haven't decided if I like it. Though to be completely honest, I don't think I do. School stressed me out a lot. But it's always been where I felt most comfortable. With paper and pens and taking notes and reading books and writing. Every once in a while taking lab class where I got to see how things really worked. And having someone ask you some strange, seemingly mundane question about a topic makes you think. I like being made to think. I don't want to get lazy. I don't want to only read for fun. I want to read to learn and to think.
I already want to go back to school and summer isn't even over yet.
How weird.
I started reading The Hunger Games last night and stayed up a little bit too late. Woke up this morning--I use "morning" with a lot of creative license--made some food and then continued reading until about 8pm. That was my day. I hardly moved. But I did read a whole book!
I want to finish reading the Harry Potter books again but now I'm inconveniently far from the Barnes & Noble and the local bookstores are sure to notice me hanging around all day, ruining the binding on a popular book and not buying anything. When I get my first piece of mail, though, I can get a library card! Feel free to send me a postcard (or a care package) so I can get to that right away.
Tomorrow I'm going to go look at mattresses at the place my roommate got hers and see if they have anything else decent on sale. Then I might go to Wal-Mart to look at desks/tables and then! Go see the last Harry Potter movie with my roommate. It's nice that we get along okay. I also really like her pets. Her cats will come cuddle with me and her dog will, too. He's supposed to ask permission before coming onto my bed, and he tried that out at first, but I usually wasn't paying attention enough to shoo him away or invite him up so eventually he took control of the situation and jumped up. Today I could see in his eyes that he really wanted up--my bed is the air mattress, by the way, in case you were confused--but I had to many papers and notebooks strewn about and he didn't know what to do. As soon as I cleared a big enough spot on the edge he hopped right up and curled up and went to sleep. He's sweet. Very ugly. But sweet.
It rained again today! My ceiling started looking worse than ever. It was raining in a whole corner of my room, almost. If I walked through the doorway to the kitchen I would get wet, every time. And my car is parked on the sidewalk again. Lovely place.
I found a great deal of yarn that I very much want because I have at least 4 things on my list of things I want to make. I'll keep filling up my shopping cart and looking at it longingly until I talk myself out of it. Or find some miraculous way to justify it.
I can't believe it's already almost August. This summer is going by so fast.
It still surprises me and sort of saddens me when I realize I won't be going back to school in the fall. Without school life seems much less structured. School gives you a schedule and a routine. And it's been the same routine for so long that it's weird to be out of it. I haven't decided if I like it. Though to be completely honest, I don't think I do. School stressed me out a lot. But it's always been where I felt most comfortable. With paper and pens and taking notes and reading books and writing. Every once in a while taking lab class where I got to see how things really worked. And having someone ask you some strange, seemingly mundane question about a topic makes you think. I like being made to think. I don't want to get lazy. I don't want to only read for fun. I want to read to learn and to think.
I already want to go back to school and summer isn't even over yet.
How weird.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Before Bedtime
Re-reading my blog posts irritates me because of how many typos there are. I'm going to say it's because I write most of my posts late but I can't be certain that's the case.
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up earlier than usual and I'm going to change out my pajamas at some point during the day.
I'm having this struggle about not wanting to stay in the house but knowing that if I leave the house it will be really hard not to spend money. It might only be on a drink or lunch, but it's still money and I just do not want to spend it. I'm looking for jobs and I know I'll feel so much better when I have an income. I found a copy editing job I think I'm going to apply for, which would be nice because they send you the manuscripts and you work on them on your own time, but compensation varies for each project, so I don't know how dependable that would be. Also found an emergency vet job that could be nice and could be awful, depending on how much sleep it means I'll get on any given night since it includes overnights. But anything is better than nothing.
I need to get a TB test for the zoo and I can't find a place that does it so that's going to be my project for Monday. Hooray shots!
I really want a desk. I might go back to Wal-Mart. A desk and a chair would make me very happy. I have some writing projects I want to get to and real writing always works better on paper for me. I still haven't made up my mind about the whole mattress thing.
This isn't interesting but my internship starts soon and then things will get very interesting again. Can't wait!
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up earlier than usual and I'm going to change out my pajamas at some point during the day.
I'm having this struggle about not wanting to stay in the house but knowing that if I leave the house it will be really hard not to spend money. It might only be on a drink or lunch, but it's still money and I just do not want to spend it. I'm looking for jobs and I know I'll feel so much better when I have an income. I found a copy editing job I think I'm going to apply for, which would be nice because they send you the manuscripts and you work on them on your own time, but compensation varies for each project, so I don't know how dependable that would be. Also found an emergency vet job that could be nice and could be awful, depending on how much sleep it means I'll get on any given night since it includes overnights. But anything is better than nothing.
I need to get a TB test for the zoo and I can't find a place that does it so that's going to be my project for Monday. Hooray shots!
I really want a desk. I might go back to Wal-Mart. A desk and a chair would make me very happy. I have some writing projects I want to get to and real writing always works better on paper for me. I still haven't made up my mind about the whole mattress thing.
This isn't interesting but my internship starts soon and then things will get very interesting again. Can't wait!
A Whole Day
I woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain. I love that sound, especially when I'm cozy and drowsy in bed. Until I remember that pouring rain could mean a flooded street and water in my car. I jumped out of bed and started looking around my room for shoes and a coat. My rain jacket is in my car and my "water-shoes" (Old Navy flip flops) are also in my car. I put on my nearest pair of shoes, grab my keys and go outside. The street wasn't flooding but that never means it won't be flooding shortly so I parked my car with my driver's side wheels on the curb, which gives you a few more inches before you have to worry.
I went back inside and decided to go back to sleep. I'm in bed and I start to hear a weird sound but try to ignore it because I want to sleep. It starts to sound like the cat might be chewing at something or ripping something so I sit up to check and then I realize the sound is coming from the corner of my room. And the ceiling is leaking! It may seem weird that a water droplet could be confused with a cat chewing on something, but we have something like 12 foot ceiling so the drops hit the wood floors in a very strange, noisy way. I get out of my bed, again pretty flustered, and try to find something to catch the water in. The leak is so close to the corner, though, that the baseboard molding is actually in the way. I used the box my Wal-Mart bookshelf came in to prop up a water jug that had the top cut off. I tried to sleep again but it didn't work and by this time it was too late to justify sleeping anymore.
I spent the next hour or so trying to menu plan for the week so I could go back to the grocery store and get food. Then I spent about an hour trying to decide whether or not I should go to the knitting store because I found a really cute pattern that I want to use as a gift for someone but yarn isn't what I need to spend money on right now. But I could probably make two or three things out of the yarn which would make it a really inexpensive gift. Then I thought I could go to Michael's because their yarn would be cheaper. But it's further away and there's a $1 toll to get there so would it really be cheaper? I was literally pacing in my room trying to make this decision, but the yarn store closes at 4 so by 3:30 it was really too late to go and the decision was made for me.
Then I went grocery shopping. I was going to go to Winn Dixie, because it was the next grocery store closest to me, but on the drive to Winn Dixie there is another grocery store! I got to Winn Dixie and decided the other store looked nicer so I turned around and went back to it. Does it ever surprise you to find out what your happy places are? I love grocery stores. I think because I'm surrounded by food and things I can make into things. They had a big case of dry-aged beef and I wish that I knew how to cook something that amazing and had the people to cook it for.
I liked my new grocery store but they didn't have the mayonnaise I wanted. This is really silly, but I'm going to admit it anyway. Every Southern cookbook says if you can't make homemade mayo for any recipe calling for it, then use Duke's. When I went to Florida over spring break I went to a Winn Dixie just to get a jar of Duke's to take home with me. Because you can only get it in the South. Wal-Mart didn't have it and Rouse's didn't have it. The little grocery I went to had it, but I didn't buy it then because I wasn't buying anything else and I figured the other groceries would have it, too.
The other thing the Southern cookbooks go on and on about is White Lily flour. Sometimes King Arthur, but really it's all about White Lily. I think it's higher protein? I'm not sure. Wal-Mart did have that so I got a bag. Rouse's didn't have it, so I'm glad I got it when I did. It's so strange because there are brands that are only available down here and people swear by them. I'm tempted to make cupcakes or something and compare White Lily to Pillsbury or Gold Medal, which is what I usually use because it's what's available.
It's also weird to have so many brands of something available. I think I've now seen 4 brands of flour, in addition to each store's generic brand. And Rouse's had so many brands of mayonnaise! Not flavors or types, like "with olive oil" or whatever, but actual brands. You can choose from Kraft, Hellmann's (Best Foods), Duke's, Bama, and Blue Plate. Plus the store brand and Miracle Whip (which doesn't count because it's NOT mayonnaise). And brands of flour. Brands of all-purpose white flour. If I notice a difference I'll let you know. But I might go for a mayonnaise taste test because there seems to be a lot of heat about Blue Plate and Duke's.
My roommate invited me out with her and a friend today. There's a bar four blocks away and they went to get sandwiches in beer. I got there and wasn't really hungry and didn't feel like spending money on food after I'd just gone shopping and alcohol falls almost exactly last on the list of things I'm willing to spend money on, especially without an income, but I decided to hang out anyway because I'd like to get to know people and do something "fun." I talked to her friends a little bit and I'm glad I went. I talked to one of them specifically about looking for a job and he sort of confirmed for me that what I'm going to be able to find for the hours I need is waitressing or something, which I sort of dread. I would much rather work in retail. Gotta do what ya gotta do, though.
My internet is having a great time messing with me right now. Not appreciated.
I made cupcakes today! They were supposed to have a cookie crust and I completely forgot about it, but they still turned out. It was a new cupcake recipe and a new frosting recipe, and I can't decide how I feel about the cupcake. It's got a good texture but it's not my favorite flavor. The frosting was chocolate chip cookie dough buttercream. It's flavored like cookie dough and I put mini chocolate chips in. I even piped it on the cupcakes but my piping skills are sub-par. I want to practice.
Okay, so. There was one girl that was going to intern with me in the same area of the zoo. She friended me on Facebook before I even know about her. And she just got a job at the zoo in Denver so she won't be doing the internship. She also has an interview for the Birmingham Zoo. I know all of this via Facebook. She also interned at NW Trek, just like me, but the year after I did. This has me so discouraged it's unbelievable. I've applied for so many jobs. An enormous number. I haven't even gotten a call about one of them. Not one. And she has two. And we've had the same experience! I can't believe it. The only difference is she's an Animal Science major. She has a job and she's showing up for another interview, turning down the internship she accepted and probably preventing someone else from getting the opportunity. And not even a call back.
And you know what, I think I'm going to stop right now. Because I just made myself frustrated and upset and I don't want to think about it. There are a lot of reasons I think I deserve a real, paying job doing the thing I really, really want to be doing. But that's not what it's about. It doesn't matter what I think I deserve, what matters is what I can make happen. But, oh my, I'm wasting so much money to try to make this happen.
Yep. Sick and sad and scared.
No more right now.
I went back inside and decided to go back to sleep. I'm in bed and I start to hear a weird sound but try to ignore it because I want to sleep. It starts to sound like the cat might be chewing at something or ripping something so I sit up to check and then I realize the sound is coming from the corner of my room. And the ceiling is leaking! It may seem weird that a water droplet could be confused with a cat chewing on something, but we have something like 12 foot ceiling so the drops hit the wood floors in a very strange, noisy way. I get out of my bed, again pretty flustered, and try to find something to catch the water in. The leak is so close to the corner, though, that the baseboard molding is actually in the way. I used the box my Wal-Mart bookshelf came in to prop up a water jug that had the top cut off. I tried to sleep again but it didn't work and by this time it was too late to justify sleeping anymore.
I spent the next hour or so trying to menu plan for the week so I could go back to the grocery store and get food. Then I spent about an hour trying to decide whether or not I should go to the knitting store because I found a really cute pattern that I want to use as a gift for someone but yarn isn't what I need to spend money on right now. But I could probably make two or three things out of the yarn which would make it a really inexpensive gift. Then I thought I could go to Michael's because their yarn would be cheaper. But it's further away and there's a $1 toll to get there so would it really be cheaper? I was literally pacing in my room trying to make this decision, but the yarn store closes at 4 so by 3:30 it was really too late to go and the decision was made for me.
Then I went grocery shopping. I was going to go to Winn Dixie, because it was the next grocery store closest to me, but on the drive to Winn Dixie there is another grocery store! I got to Winn Dixie and decided the other store looked nicer so I turned around and went back to it. Does it ever surprise you to find out what your happy places are? I love grocery stores. I think because I'm surrounded by food and things I can make into things. They had a big case of dry-aged beef and I wish that I knew how to cook something that amazing and had the people to cook it for.
I liked my new grocery store but they didn't have the mayonnaise I wanted. This is really silly, but I'm going to admit it anyway. Every Southern cookbook says if you can't make homemade mayo for any recipe calling for it, then use Duke's. When I went to Florida over spring break I went to a Winn Dixie just to get a jar of Duke's to take home with me. Because you can only get it in the South. Wal-Mart didn't have it and Rouse's didn't have it. The little grocery I went to had it, but I didn't buy it then because I wasn't buying anything else and I figured the other groceries would have it, too.
The other thing the Southern cookbooks go on and on about is White Lily flour. Sometimes King Arthur, but really it's all about White Lily. I think it's higher protein? I'm not sure. Wal-Mart did have that so I got a bag. Rouse's didn't have it, so I'm glad I got it when I did. It's so strange because there are brands that are only available down here and people swear by them. I'm tempted to make cupcakes or something and compare White Lily to Pillsbury or Gold Medal, which is what I usually use because it's what's available.
It's also weird to have so many brands of something available. I think I've now seen 4 brands of flour, in addition to each store's generic brand. And Rouse's had so many brands of mayonnaise! Not flavors or types, like "with olive oil" or whatever, but actual brands. You can choose from Kraft, Hellmann's (Best Foods), Duke's, Bama, and Blue Plate. Plus the store brand and Miracle Whip (which doesn't count because it's NOT mayonnaise). And brands of flour. Brands of all-purpose white flour. If I notice a difference I'll let you know. But I might go for a mayonnaise taste test because there seems to be a lot of heat about Blue Plate and Duke's.
My roommate invited me out with her and a friend today. There's a bar four blocks away and they went to get sandwiches in beer. I got there and wasn't really hungry and didn't feel like spending money on food after I'd just gone shopping and alcohol falls almost exactly last on the list of things I'm willing to spend money on, especially without an income, but I decided to hang out anyway because I'd like to get to know people and do something "fun." I talked to her friends a little bit and I'm glad I went. I talked to one of them specifically about looking for a job and he sort of confirmed for me that what I'm going to be able to find for the hours I need is waitressing or something, which I sort of dread. I would much rather work in retail. Gotta do what ya gotta do, though.
My internet is having a great time messing with me right now. Not appreciated.
I made cupcakes today! They were supposed to have a cookie crust and I completely forgot about it, but they still turned out. It was a new cupcake recipe and a new frosting recipe, and I can't decide how I feel about the cupcake. It's got a good texture but it's not my favorite flavor. The frosting was chocolate chip cookie dough buttercream. It's flavored like cookie dough and I put mini chocolate chips in. I even piped it on the cupcakes but my piping skills are sub-par. I want to practice.
Okay, so. There was one girl that was going to intern with me in the same area of the zoo. She friended me on Facebook before I even know about her. And she just got a job at the zoo in Denver so she won't be doing the internship. She also has an interview for the Birmingham Zoo. I know all of this via Facebook. She also interned at NW Trek, just like me, but the year after I did. This has me so discouraged it's unbelievable. I've applied for so many jobs. An enormous number. I haven't even gotten a call about one of them. Not one. And she has two. And we've had the same experience! I can't believe it. The only difference is she's an Animal Science major. She has a job and she's showing up for another interview, turning down the internship she accepted and probably preventing someone else from getting the opportunity. And not even a call back.
And you know what, I think I'm going to stop right now. Because I just made myself frustrated and upset and I don't want to think about it. There are a lot of reasons I think I deserve a real, paying job doing the thing I really, really want to be doing. But that's not what it's about. It doesn't matter what I think I deserve, what matters is what I can make happen. But, oh my, I'm wasting so much money to try to make this happen.
Yep. Sick and sad and scared.
No more right now.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Safe and Sound
I found him!
He was in the bottom of a box in my car, but now he is safe with the other stuffed animals inside.
Crisis averted.
(It was a slow day. I did my laundry in a Saints themed laundromat and found out my milk is the official milk of the Saints. I'm scared for how out of place I'm going to be during football season.)
Crisis averted.
(It was a slow day. I did my laundry in a Saints themed laundromat and found out my milk is the official milk of the Saints. I'm scared for how out of place I'm going to be during football season.)
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